I feel a shift I can’t explain. Something has changed. Something, or Someone, has started moving. Perhaps He never stopped.
I’ve shared what burnout feels like. Here is what (I am learning) relinquishing burnout feels like:
A weight lifted. Or lifting.
A bitterness gone.
Palms opening, unclinging.
In the past few weeks, I’ve used “recovery” as an excuse to do nothing instead of as a chance to rediscover my passions. Yes, I needed a time to let go, to release responsibility, to do nothing and be okay with doing nothing. But it’s time to move forward, to unchain myself from the shackles of burnout.
I crumple the list of words that have taken up occupancy in my mental lexicon:
I release the identity of victim. Of helpless inmate at the burnout, breakdown, palace.
OPEN to invest in the lives of others.
RELEASED from an identity of death, of grasping tightly to what I have in fear that I will be sucked dry if I give away one drop more.
I am FREE to be FILLED by LOVE.
Work is a gift. Life is a gift.
I can care.
I do care.
Teach me to sit still in your presence that I may give myself wholeheartedly to the work you have before me.
Teach me to uncling to this identity and cling instead to You.