Five Minute Friday: After

Five Minute Friday

Happy Friday!

For a few months now, I’ve the pleasure of participating in Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday blogging challenge. Every Friday, a group of eclectic bloggers turn off our inner critics and perfectionists and just write for five minutes straight. Zero editing. Just a stream of consciousness free for all. And then we all link up and encourage each other. To learn more about Five Minute Friday and how you can participate click here.

This Friday’s topic is AFTER.

***

Go. 

I thought that after I moved, it would all make sense. The burnout, the
restlessness, the ache in my heart to live in a foreign country that never went away.

Then, after I got settled, I would be happy.
After I made more friends, I would feel home.
After I set a schedule, I’d feel peace.
After I started a new job, I’ve feel engaged and connected and alive.

But it wasn’t so.

It’s not that I’m not happy, it’s just that I’m still waiting for the AFTER.

After I get in shape, I’ll be happy with my body.

After I go to Spanish school, I’ll be fluent and confident and no-longer-shy.

After I write, I’ll feel accomplished.

After I pray, I’ll be at peace.

But the AFTER never comes.

The waiting-for-something-better becomes a trap. A prison. A recipe for discontent.

Because life isn’t in the AFTER. God isn’t in the AFTER.

Life is HERE, right now. God is HERE, right now.

photo (1)

In the flowers on my table. In the words I tap-tap-type.

That’s the idea of GRATITUDE. The awakening of joy in the current moment.

So I surrender my clinging to the AFTER. This unfreedom of waiting. The discontent of a life disjointed into BEFORE and AFTER.

I forget the BEFORE and AFTER. I open my eyes to the HERE.

 

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11 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: After

  1. hyacynth says:

    I’ve found this to be so true in my own life, too. I really needed to read this today. Thanks for your powerful perspective.

  2. Nancy says:

    Love this. Keeping my gratitude list this year. If you haven’t read “1000 Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, I HIGHLY recommend it.

  3. sarahlangdon says:

    Beautifully said. God most definitely is the God of HERE.

  4. Elaine says:

    There’s a lot of great stuff in your head for this to be the spontaneous 5-minute response to a word prompt–awesome 🙂

  5. Carrie says:

    I struggle with this same thing Aly, always waiting for the “after” that never seems to come. I like your perspective on seeing the right here and now and the gratitude in those moments. Great post!

  6. […] you know what? God spoke. I’ve been wrestling with the temptation to focus on the AFTER, to stew in my discontent. Lately I’ve let myself get bogged down in missing my friends and […]

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